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Tips & Tricks Tuesday: Holiday Balance

By November 5, 2019No Comments

Less stress, at least. (

Welp, it’s November and soon we will all be churning in the mix of excitement, celebration, and stress of the holidays.

I will say that I am personally blessed to have multiple family sets in town where I am invited to spend my holidays. And while I don’t want to be negative, I’m still trying to find the perfect mix of boundary-setting and participation that creates a holiday season for which I genuinely feel excited.

I’m happy to say that I’ve finally cracked the code for Thanksgiving!

I’ll confess that I’ve haaaaaaated Thanksgiving for much of my adult life. I realized that having come from a divorced family that doubled up on holidays every year, I’d had 60 Thanksgivings by age 33! Then when I was lucky enough to join my in-laws, I was splitting the holiday three ways.

It all became just too much.

One night, at a family wedding, I drunkenly suggested to a cousin that we should have a runaway Thanksgiving.

Much to my surprise, the booze-filled idea became a reality and that next Thanksgiving was spent in the hills of Mill Valley, CA, away from the stress/guilt scenario of my home town. (Well, okay, I did feel guilty when I explained to my mother that I would be out of town for Thanksgiving indefinitely. But we both got over it!)

Now, my cousins and I are on year three of our destination Thanksgivings with last year spent in Sedona. This year, we’re heading to Palm Springs, baby!

And, just like that, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. With cousins, I get to still feel the family warm and fuzzies, but without the baggage. When we coordinate the menu, everyone is expected to make something and I do believe we all take pride in making a favorite dish for others to enjoy. It’s SO FUN!

So when it comes to the holidays you celebrate, I suggest you take an honest look at how you feel. If you feel gross about any of them, it’s time to get creative. Enjoying a holiday is a healthy entitlement, in my opinion. So make it your own!

Now, what to do about our four Phoenix Christmases…

Blog by Lilia

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